


It Started with a Boner (and escalated from there)

by chipofmint



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Awkward Boners, Boys Being Idiots, Eventual Sex, Humor, Language, Love/Hate, M/M, Sexual Humor, accidental boner acquisition, after a long and epic WAR OF THE BONERS
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-07-14 21:18:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7190768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chipofmint/pseuds/chipofmint
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you add two teenage boys, a butt on a dick, and tight spaces, a boner is bound to happen. However, because Keith and Lance just can't let sleeping dicks lie, one accidental erection turns into a competition to see who can make the other pop a stiffy in the worst possible situations. Let the games begin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Balmeran tunnels were the fucking worst. That was something Keith and Lance could agree on, even if they wouldn’t say that out loud to a soul with working ears.

Shiro and Hunk (impressively enough, considering his girth) would plow through the maze like it was nothing, but gangly Keith and Lance kept tripping over crevices. In this latest chapter of the “Keith and Lance get stuck in tight holes” epic, Lance had raced after Keith into a tight spot, they’d tried to go through the same tunnel at once, and now Keith was pinned behind Lance, and Lance’s face was squashed against the opposite wall.

“Keith, Lance? Are you lost again?” Shiro’s voice sounded in their helmet speakers.

“No,” said Lance stubbornly, as Keith rolled his eyes behind Lance’s head. “We’re just...uh... taking a short cut! Meet up with you in 10″

“Okay, let us know if we need to circle back.”

Keith angrily punched Lance in the side since his arms were the only things he could move right now. “This is your fault,” he muttered, getting a mouth full of Lance’s stupid prickly hair peeking out of the bottom of his helmet.

“Maybe if I try stepping this way...” still with his face full of Balmera rock (this stuff smelled like dirty socks ugh), Lance side-stepped to the left, but Keith’s bulk pressing him into the opposite wall was making it _very_ hard to move. Stupid Keith.

“Nope. That is not working.”

“Oh thanks I would have never noticed that, Keith.”

Putting his hands against the cool, damp rock, Lance tried squirming his hips a little to the left. “Hey, I think this is working!” He continued to wiggle, not bothering to think about how hard he was pushing against his teammate. He gave a twist and a jerky hip thrust to the left, which also pressed him back into Keith’s hips. Keith froze.

Then Keith started trying to squirm free as well, but with twice Lance’s amount of desperation.

“Hey man, you’re making it harder for me to move!” Lance barked as Keith grabbed his helmet and forced Lance’s head deeper into the wall. “Unf!”

“Just trying to get the hell away from your stupid...”

Using Lance’s head and shoulder as leverage, Keith continued to push himself away from Lance. As a result, the lower portion of his torso pressed harder into Lance’s butt, bring attention to IT.

THE THING. THE DISTINCT HARD THING PRESSING INTO LANCE’S PRECIOUS ASS.

Lance made a muffled yelp of distress while Keith kept pushing against Lance as if the boner was not there.

This should have been the moment when Lance made a snide “so is that your sword or are you just reaaaally happy to see me” comment, but right now he just wanted Keith’s half-hard dick in those tight black uniform pants as far away from him as possible.

Sputtering, Lance forced his head to the left, cheek smashed against the wall, and yelled, “Keith, dude, STOP IT.”

He ineffectively swatted at Keith behind him and began wiggling his way out again. Both boys continued to squirm, and Keith made angry grumbling noises.

“You’re...making...it...WORSE.”

“Dude this is not my fault. Y-you’re the one with the...”

With a nasty scraping noise, Keith finally dislodged himself from behind Lance and then began running in the direction they had come without looking back.

Lance stood slack-jawed, trying to process this. He rubbed his butt at the memory of...Keith’s...um...yeah. Then he went running after Keith.

They didn’t need to discuss it, but the message in Keith’s body language (didn’t even turn to check if Lance was behind him) was clear.

They were _never_ talking about this again.

...Too bad Lance couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance is an idiot, so this "epiphany" is going to lead to him trying to get a reaction from Keith again. Because, as I said, he's a moron. Comments much appreciated. Also suggestions of where/when accidental boners may happen are welcomed.


	2. Today's Chores Include Chopping Wood

After leaving Balmera, it took Lance exactly 10 hours 15 minutes and 32 ticks to corner Keith in the spaceship’s halls.

“Aha, I found you!” Keith swung around to face Lance’s leer and cursed. “We’re never alone in this fucking castle!” the blue paladin said. 

Keith had two choices. Option A was to avoid the hell out of Lance, which he had successfully done all day. Option B was to fall on the ground and play dead. Unlike a wild animal though, Keith guessed Lance was just smart enough to see through the ruse.

“Lance.” For once, Lance stopped talking and waited for Keith to continue. “You’ve been glaring at me all day and it’s creeping me out. Get lost.”

“Are you forgetting what happened 10 hours 15 minutes and 47 ticks ago?”

“Why the hell do you know exactly…”

“Are you just going to pretend that my bony ass didn’t turn your pants into a sideways Eiffel…”

Keith slapped a hand to Lance’s motormouth and pulled down his teammate’s head so his ear was next to his lips.

“Not so loud, idiot!” he hissed, releasing the other man. “I…honestly, I just want to forget anything happened, so can you just leave me alone?”

“Okay. Fine.” Lance tried to wipe the ‘Keith’ off his face and ear. “Be that way. But I’m getting you back.” He lowered his voice to a whisper, “You don’t just pin me against the wall of a cave and rub a hard on all over me and get away with it!” 

Keith’s answering groan held a century’s worth of frustration.

 

* * *

 

As someone somewhere once said, the punishment should fit the crime. What better way to make mullet-head humiliate himself than getting him turned on in full view of the rest of the crew? Lance’s logic was somewhere along those lines. Whether or not he had thought through the consequences of getting Keith aroused was a completely different story.

First, there were the hot pants.

Somehow, sometime a Paladin on ship had loved pants that hugged their booty like a latex glove. On the grand day Lance had found his lion slippers in some god-forsaken alien drawer, he had also located these pants.

Getting them on was a challenge, but once they were on, he turned his butt around in the full-length mirror to see…

That his already tiny ass was completely flattened by the pants.

“Damn square butt,” he said, trying to tug the pants up to make it look more like Shiro’s bubble butt.

His butt flattened more. 

However, the effort it took to get on those pants made it necessary to at least give them a try. 

 

* * *

 

“Helloooo space cadets.”

Allura and the rest of the Paladin’s heads jerked up in answer to Lance’s call.

“Um, Lance,” Hunk said. “Are you sure you want to be training in _that_?”

The space-spandex left nothing to the imagination. Every bone in Lance’s scrawny hip, every line in his thighs and groin were on full display. 

Shiro blanched and instinctively side-stepped, blocking Pidge, staring at their net screen, from direct sight of Lance. 

Lance turned his back to the team, making sure to stand closest to Keith, “Before we train…let me…mmm…do some…stretches…unnn.” 

The cocksure paladin turned his head to see their reactions. Keith was blatantly staring. 

“I didn’t realize an ass could get that flat,” Keith said. 

“Hey!”

“Also, are you trying to do the splits? Because you’re definitely failing, man.”

“Shut up!”

“You know, if you would like to learn how to properly stretch, Coran and I could give you a lesson on Altean meditation stances,” Allura said as kindly as possible. “It’ll make you more flexible.”

Normally Lance would be thrilled, but today was not about getting into Allura’s pants (though let’s be real, the girl was into him already)! It was about getting revenge!

“Naw, that’s all good. I think I’m fine just…” he stood up and bent over to touch his toes, ass in the air in the direction of Keith’s face. 

A loud “riiiiiiip” accompanied the movement.

“Dammit.” 

Shiro thanked the stars above that he had thought to cover Pidge’s view with his body. 

“Oh stars,” Allura said, turning her face away. 

“Neon underpants?” Hunk squawked. “Seriously?!”

 

* * *

 

Second, Lance got out the good stuff.

It took him way longer than it should have to find decent Earth porn using the Castle’s computer systems. Since he couldn’t ask Pidge to help him get through some of the blocks, he had to figure it out for himself. 

Once he had his content and a portable screen, it was time to find his victim.

He located Keith standing alongside Shiro in the main control room, oblivious to the cinematic masterpiece he was about to witness.

Wordlessly, Lance slung an arm around Keith’s shoulder, handed Keith an earbud, and pointed toward the screen.

Too tired from Lance hounding him to argue, Keith put the headphones in, and let Lance press the play button. 

Keith watched porn for a solid 15 minutes without batting an eye.

His teammate looked at Keith expectantly after Shiro had already fled the scene. 

“Do you…feel anything?”

“Nope. Though that guy’s junk is not proportional to the rest of his body.”

“That’s not the _point_ , the point is…!”

Coran stormed into mission control.

“Who compromised our system in order to download heinous sexual content?!? We’re getting some strange things you people call ‘pop ups’, and quiznak, if I thought your _ears_ were disgusting, your genitalia are far worse!”

That was Lance’s cue to run like hell and hide in his lion for a couple of hours. 

 

* * *

 

Foregoing “mission make Keith Kum in his pants like a 14-year-old”, Lance sulkily returned to his latest unwilling duty (right under “save the universe if I want to have dad’s churros ever again” ) as Coran’s mechanical assistant. He had to make up for the porn invasion somehow.

Coran, unwisely, had left Lance to his own devices while he worked on some other maintenance in the ship. The blue paladin had crammed his scrawny body into one of the mechanical crevices underneath a glowing control pad, and from the sounds he was making, was not having much success in fixing it. 

“Ugh, if only this fucking thing would…ahHhhhhg.” 

His head and arms were hidden in the mechanisms, but his butt and legs were sprawled out on the other side. His butt, prominent and high, jerked in tandem to his movements as he grunted and pulled on various cogs and re-arranged wires. This one particular bolt was not moving no matter how hard he tugged, and it was driving him crazy!

As he continued to tug and moan, Keith came into the room in full uniform, looking for Coran. As he took off his helmet and turned his eyes to where weird noises were coming from, he got a few view of Lance in a very compromising position.

Lance’s shirt had ridden up a little as he was leaning inside the machine, exposing a brown line of skin on his lower back. His ass, not as restricted as it was in those stupid pants, bobbed and spread as Lance spread his knees wider, pushing himself farther into the machine. Lance flattened himself against the floor as much as he could, leg muscles tightening as he tried to pull the bolt loose. All the while, he was grunting and groaning and talking to himself like a deranged animal, and Keith couldn’t look away. He could feel the faint beginnings of arousal, blood steadily pumping to his head and dick. The room got hot. 

“Hey, Coran, could you hand me that thing that looks like a…. wrench? I could really, unf, use a hand here.” 

When he didn’t get a response, Lance stuck his head back out (face smudged with black alien lubricant). He saw Keith standing behind him, a distinct hard line in his pants.

Lance looked at his position (butt in the air, legs splayed), and then back at Keith. He glared. 

“Seriously man? _Seriously? This_ is what you get off to.”

“I can’t help it, okay.” Keith moved his Paladin helmet down to cover his junk.

“Ugh, of all times, you had to pull a stiffy _now_.” 

“Aren’t you happy?” Keith said, waving the hand with the helmet in it, having forgotten his hard on apparently. “Haven’t you been trying to get me like this in public all day?”

“But this time it wasn’t on purpose! So it doesn’t count.”

“Really, Lance.”

“Really!” Lance stood and wiped some lubricant off on a pant leg, walking quickly towards Keith. “For example, meat-brain, this would be on purpose!” 

At that moment, Lance put his palm and bony fingers over the bulge in Keith’s pants. And rubbed along the shaft.

Keith groaned. 

While the sudden grope should have made Keith’s hard-on disappear immediately, to his horror, his dick perked up in interest. He was flying at full mast now.

Lance, realizing the horrible thing he had done, snatched his hand away as if it had been burned, yelped at the sight of something behind Keith, and ran away. 

Keith turned around to see what it was, still touting a stubborn hard-on.

It was Pidge.

The smaller paladin’s eyes traveled from Keith’s face down to the tent in his pants. 

Pidge screamed.


	3. Hoist the Main Sail!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've heard 'round town that men don't do the balance beam, and I think that is a goddamn shame.

After Pidge’s unfortunate run in with Keith in physical distress (Shiro heard their screams), Shiro gave Keith a drawn-out lecture about managing his sex drive. As if Keith hadn’t already taken three cold showers to try to cleanse himself of horny aftershocks. Pidge couldn’t even look at Keith for a while, fleeing whenever Keith appeared. It was awful.

Once he was chastised by Shiro, Keith was banished to the brig to scrub every crevice with the alien counterpart of a toothbrush.

On his hands and knees, Keith scrubbed through the blue cleaning solvent furiously. This one bit of goo had slid down a crack and refused to budge! His arms were shaking from exertion.

On one hand, cleaning an area of this size (Keith liked cleaning dishes for Hunk) sucked. On the other hand this gave him lots of time to think about how to get back at Lance.

Brushing away, Keith smiled grimly. All he had to do was finish this, and then project Lambda Alpha Nu Chi Eta could commence.

 

* * *

  
  
After Shiro had given Keith a talking to, Lance didn’t expect any retaliation anytime soon. So when Keith’s revenge struck during training, he was totally unprepared.

Like usual, Lance was kicking practice ass and taking names in the Blue Lion. He crowed in victory when another rock in his path was blasted to smithereens via tail laser. The planet they’d ported on had a large quarry connected to a long canyon lined with boulders. Unlike the Balmera, these rocks were not alive and thus could be shot with lasers.

Shiro’s larger winged lion led their formation through the dips and turns of the canyons. Lance was right on his tail (literally), outpacing Keith for once, who hung to the left and a little behind the Blue Lion.

Pushing his lion into full throttle, Lance leaned forward eagerly, ready to veer over this rock at the last possible second…

“Ahhhhhhh.” He heard a long breathy sigh through his headset. A _sexy_ sigh.

Lance nearly crashed headfirst into the boulder.

“Mmmmmm!” A low hum of pleasure filled his ears as Lance managed to move up just in time.

“¡Qué chingados!” Lance yelled.

Keith continued to hang back, observing instead of pulling ahead like he normally would have.

The first two sounds were quickly followed by a barrage of pornographic noises, moans and groans and labored panting increasing in intensity with each second Lance flew. His ears reddened and his pulse worked double time.

“Hah...hah...uuuuhh."

Lance was horrified to feel his dick twitching in his uniform pants.

“Hey does anyone hear the…?” Lance said, trying to dodge under a rock arch while also battling the heat building in his gut

“The what Lance?” asked Hunk.

“The weird noises!”

“I’m not picking up any interference,” Pidge said, checking their tech just to make sure. “Maybe you’re hearing things?”

If Lance had listened a little harder, he would have heard Keith chuckling in near silence.

“Are you sure about that?” Lance said, panicked and squirming in his seat. He’d jacked off to porn that sounded less convincing than this, and it was getting hard to ignore!

The groans continued through his headset, gaining urgency.

“Mmm please MMM.”

Lance’s arousal was painful now, a navy on the blue balls scale.

“Uuuuhhhh.” The guttural sound was distinctly male, scratching behind an Adam’s apple, distinctly aroused. Lance had the insane urge to take his hand from the controls and thrust it down his pants.

“AHHHH oh god, LANCE.”

Wait, he knew that voice!

“Keith!” Lance screamed, the side of his lion scraping the canyon wall.

“Yes?”

“I’m going to kill you!”

 

* * *

 

“Wonder what was up with Lance today during training?” Pidge mused.

Red faced and steaming, Lance threw his helmet at Keith’s face and ran down the hallway to his room.

 

* * *

 

Later Lance tried to corner Keith in a place he was often known to lurk, the spaceship garden of alien plants they harvested for food between visits to habitable planets. He fully intended to strangle and murder Keith as promised.

But as soon as he began sneaking up on Keith, he heard a humming noise.

Keith was singing a wordless song under his breath, voice breaking along the notes as he stuck his fingers into the loamy soil around a blooming plant to repot it. His clothes were spotted with mud and plant matter, but even with his back to Lance and a smile absent from his face, Keith exuded a warm kind of happiness

The Red Paladin leaned over to move the plant from its place in the garden bed to a blue pot, back bent protectively over it as he added dirt into the open spaces in the container. The rough humming grew louder and more melodic.

Lance’s pulse skipped a beat in response and he quietly cursed. This was not the time to get distracted!

As Keith stood back up to wipe sweat off his forehead and turn at the sound, Lance was gone.

 

* * *

 

Hunk had complained around mouthfuls of alien cereal that he was tired of Lance “acting weirder than usual”. When Keith asked if Hunk could help Keith re-route some sound bites to Lance’s headset to play a prank on Lance, he had jumped at the opportunity. That had been L.A.N.C.E. phase one. Hunk had also altered the basic mechanics of one of the training robots.

Thus in Keith’s mind, phase one was a success.

It was time to commence phase two.

 

* * *

 

Lance had the odd and persistent habit of stopping to gawk whenever Keith had the gym to himself. The harder Keith worked out, the longer the gawking lasted. And like with any opponent, Keith assessed this behavior from afar and catalogued it in his brain.

Keith had mastered the art of being sexy without giving the appearance of trying long before this day, so when he set up some gymnastics equipment in the training deck, Lance didn't stand a chance. He did his work so intensely, huge eyebrows furrowed, that his aura scared all his self-preserving shipmates away from the area.

With the trap set and the bars and rings in place, Keith sighed and kneeled down to get himself in the pushup position. “1, 2, 3, 4….”

It only took 42 repetitions for his target to arrive.

“Working off some frustration there Keith?” Lance leaned against the gym’s entryway, arms folded and shit-eating grin spreading with every word. He exuded “confident asshole”, as if he hadn’t nearly crashed into a rock listening to Keith moaning.

Exhaling all his air in a puff, Keith effortlessly pushed himself up and matched Lance’s expression with an eyebrow quirk of his own.

Pulling an elbow above his head to stretch, Keith said, “What’s it to you?”

“Eh, don’t mind me. You just seem a little _worked up_ lately. Stick up your ass higher than usual?”

Keith scoffed and switched arms. "Are you just going to stand there working your mouth or are you going to train, Paladin?”

In response, Lance strode in like the idiot he was, fists and teeth clenched to meet the challenge. Keith dropped his arm, leaned a little to the left, and pressed a panel on the wall.

In 5 seconds, a robot came out, ran at Lance, pinned him, and tossed aside his bayard.

Squawking like an angry hen, Lance struggled against the robot’s grasp, now in a sitting position with his arms forced behind his back.

A dimple appeared on Keith’s cheek. “That was way too easy.”

Lance thrashed his unshackled legs. “Cheater! Moron! What are you doing?”

His teammate sighed. “Me? I’m going to continue working out in peace.”

Lance looked back with his mouth open in disgust. Then an idea flashed across his face, eyebrows lifting. “Well, smartass, looks like you forgot to do something about my mouth!”

Keith didn’t turn to answer, but he did stop in his tracks.

“Ahaha,” Lance cackled, “Before I wreck this stupid robot, I’m going to enjoy shit talking you until hell freezes…”

Without a change in expression, Keith wrapped his fingers around the hem of his tight t-shirt.

“…over.”

He began lifting it slowly.

Dark gray shirt halfway up his back, pale spine bared, Keith paused to throw an innocuous stare in Lance’s direction. While his expression was blank bordering on amusement, his movements were teasing as he pulled the fabric higher, higher, just beneath his shoulder blades.

Lance’s mouth went dry.

In a smooth movement, Keith dragged the shirt over his head and casually dropped it in a heap on the floor, joined soon by his belt and gear. Lance’s eyes followed the movement to the ground, then lifted his gaze back to the body before him, eyes glazed in a mixture of awe and terror.

While his teammate was busy adjusting to the sight of naked shoulders glistening with sweat, a slim lower back that curved down to disappear into black sweatpants, Keith reached to his waist. Adjusting his pants around his hips a little lower, he reached into his pocket to get a hair tie. As if he didn’t realize exactly what he was doing to Lance’s poor insides.

Cheeks burning like hot coals, Lance turned his face stiffly away, but with one hand the training robot grabbed his chin and forced his head back. He tried closing his eyes but the robot’s metal fingers forced them open. The Paladin bellowed in frustration.

Keith continued moving slowly, his back to Lance, and carded his fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. In natural gestures, he combed his hair into a small mid-height ponytail with one hand and looped the hair tie around it. The muscles in his shoulders and arms lightly tensed and pulsed. Lance’s eyes followed every movement as if in a trance.

Dropping his hands at his sides, Keith took a deep breath. He ran and hoisted himself up onto the balance beam.

Suspended just by his arms, Keith slowly swung one leg over the beam as if he was mounting it, his toes pointed and legs flexed in diagonal lines on either sides of his shaking arms. With measured slowness, he drew his legs straight out behind him in a plank position. Making it look effortless, he curved his back and bent his legs over his head. He took a deep breath and with a push forward, elegantly back-bended himself and rose to a standing position. His pale skin shone with the exertion, bare back curving in elegant S and C-shapes along with the poses.

In a succession of movements, he ran, did a standing flip that made Lance catch his breath, and  then transitioned back down on his arms and elbows in the center.

He slowly did the splits overhead as he supported himself with his core strength, moving one leg towards the front of the beam and one extended back. Like a rotating hoop, he then slowly lowered back into a sitting front split.

“Now,” Keith grunted, going lower and lower on the beam, “ _that_ is how you do the splits.”

Keith wasn’t even touching him and Lance was already rock solid. He let out a high whine before he could stifle it.

At the sound, Keith paused, eyes flashing, and continued his stretches as if nothing was amiss.

Since he was getting such a good reaction out of Lance (Lance was definitely hyperventilating at this point), Keith pushed it a little further, moving forward to balance on his hands again, lifting his torso above his head, and did a center split in the air, legs spreading into a wider and wider V. Bending his neck just slightly, Keith looked up in this position to stare Lance straight in the eyes.

Lance closed his eyes for a moment and trembled, opening his eyes to see Keith had changed positions again.

His entire body was supported by one thin but muscled arm, and Keith was looking right at Lance

How Keith’s arms could hold up under all this strain, Lance couldn’t imagine.

With the continued sweat and muscles and Keith’s occasional grunt, Lance's breathing became erratic.

“What… are you… doing?” Lance managed to say, though Keith’s gaze was no longer in his direction. He’d realized by now that the robot was holding onto him hard enough to keep him there, but not so hard as if to make it impossible to get away.

“Just working off some _frustration_ , though it looks like you need that more than I do.”

Lance could feel the breath behind Keith’s chuckle, imagined a gentle warm puff on his face. He wasn’t the one exerting himself, but he could feel sweat trickling down the back of his neck. Escape plans began forming in bullet-points in Lance’s head, but that part of his brain no longer had control of his senses. He was overheated, horny, and couldn’t tear his eyes away.

Keith working himself to exertion, watching him get to the point where the effort shone in Keith’s grimacing mouth, was more of a turn on to Lance than seeing him move seamlessly as usual. Keith’s unconscious grunts under the strain went straight to Lance’s core.

“What’s the matter, _Lance_?” Keith asked, his breath coming in short spurts around Lance’s name as he continued to stretch his lithe body.

And the sound of his name was all it took for Lance to lose it entirely.

With a grunt and a shiver, Lance came in his pants.

Keith’s eyes widened. “Did you just…?”

Enraged and embarrassed, Lance broke free of the robot and tackled Keith off the beam to the ground. Ignoring the cold wetness on his thighs, he raised a fist to punch Keith right in the face. Keith caught his fist, surprised but not enough to forget his reflexes.

Throwing Lance’s hand to the side, Keith pushed back on Lance’s chest, trying to get the heavier boy off of him while also rolling away. Lance responded by pushing Keith’s shoulders to the ground and sitting on Keith’s stomach, pinning him with his larger frame.

Keith’s hand scrabbled towards Lance’s face, which Lance blocked with his arm, leaving an opening for Keith to bend his legs and throw Lance off of him, flipping them so he was table-topped over Lance. Lance looked up, breathing hard and now realizing he was getting a face-full of Keith’s pecs. Keith’s hair was coming out of his ponytail, tendrils falling around his face.

In the meantime, Keith was getting a face-full of Lance’s smooth chestnut complexion. Whatever was in those masks he used, it really worked. Keith’s eyes darted to Lance’s lips, then to the hands he had pinned by the wrists. How were the guy’s hands so soft?

The silent staring didn’t last long. The phrase “think first and act later” was not in either Paladin’s vocabulary.

When Keith’s eyes flicked back to Lance’s face and he noticed the Blue Paladin’s blush, Lance wriggled a hand free and punched him in the gut to distract him. The fighting began again in earnest.

It became unclear who was on top of the other or who had the upper hand. Lance’s gangly legs bumped Keith’s knees, one would lose balance and fall flat on the other, air was knocked out of stomachs, skin impacted against skin. Fingers grappled to find any purchase on the planes of each other’s bodies, trying to get an edge, to get a good hit in.

Feeling a throbbing bruise blooming on his cheek, Keith pulled himself back a little to wind up for a punch, which in turn, moved his hips down and against Lance’s.

Keith froze. By some miracle, he could feel a hardness in Lance’s groin that was matched by a growing hardness in his own. How the hell could Lance get it up again this quickly? And what the hell was Keith’s dick thinking?

Keith’s hips moved in a little grinding circle of their own accord, and Lance made a squawking sound that some part of Keith’s brain found kind of cute. When was squawking ever cute?

Lance used Keith’s moment of confusion to push the boy over on his back, which knocked Keith out of his stupor. He frantically kneed Lance in the groin, pushed the Paladin away, and fled to the highest point in the gym: the rings suspended from the ceiling.

He was short, so the robot had to lift him up to reach them, but even with that delay, it took Lance a few minutes to stop howling on the floor and collect himself.

“Hey!” Lance called. “Why did you kick me in the balls and run away?”

“Just catching my breath,” Keith said, arms straightened out beneath him as he swung himself between the rings. “When I come down from there, I’ll beat your ass.” The bravado did little to hide his arousal from himself.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean, shithead?” Somewhere in the far reaches of space, Lance’s abuellita was praying for the saints to cleanse her grandson’s mouth.

Ignoring Lance’s protests and his own feelings, Keith continued his slow routine, raising himself up on the rings with just his arms, swinging his body like Uranus’ sideways orbit. With arms spread out, he stopped his spinning and held himself up just by his core, body trembling and seeming to defy gravity.

Lance sputtered.

Then the lights went out.

 

* * *

 

_3 minutes earlier_

“Odd. Very odd.”

Shiro stopped in his tracks and wheeled around to see Allura squinting at a video feed from the training deck. Face drawn and mouth thin, he leaned over her shoulder. What he saw made his eye twitch.

There was Keith, putting on a grand show for a glazed-eyed Lance. Shiro had come just in time to see Keith swivel around between his rings, clenching his butt and slowly lowering himself to Lance’s eye level. Lance’s face grew redder, and he seemed in considerable physical distress. Shiro’s eye twitch increased in intensity.

Allura turned toward the Black Paladin and blinked like a scientist considering an equation. “Is this some sort of mating ritual between humans to prepare for copulation?”

Both of Shiro’s lashed eyes began to twitch.

“I’ve seen some species that posture for potential sex partners, but never in a way as elaborate as this one,” Allura continued as Shiro began rubbing his temples. “It’s fascinating. Have you attempted this before?”

Gently asking Allura to step aside for a moment, Shiro hunkered down in front of the monitor and flipped the gym lights off.

Lance and Keith yelped over the speakers, suddenly sucked into darkness. The sound of something striking the ground followed, and Lance screamed as Keith hit the floor and then rolled straight into his stomach.

Shiro grabbed the mic and set it to its loudest setting.

“Both of you. GET LOST.”

 

* * *

 

Lance and Keith were sentenced to their quarters for a good 12 hours after that.

 

* * *

 

The two ignored each other for a good part of the next day, partially because to Keith, phase two had been a failure and needed reworking (unplanned boners had happened on Keith’s part), and Lance was horrified at the fact that he had cum in his pants like a 12-year-old

“Don’t look at me, don’t talk to me, and don’t touch me!” Lance snapped at Keith the next time they saw each other, backing quickly away.

“Man,” Keith said, a smirk on his face, “I don’t think touching you is the problem.”

Lance shrieked in aggravation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I COULD NOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME FIND A GOOD VIDEO OF GUYS DOING THE BALANCE BEAM (even though I’ve seen guys doing legit pole dancing so I find it hard to believe they can’t physically do the beam?), so here are the lovely ladies throughout the years that inspired Keith’s moves, especially the slow moves in the 50s and 60s rather than the faster routines in later decades:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEW8OwEmfhI
> 
> Here’s a guy that looks like Keith if he was white and gymnast:  
> His face: https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/2015-07/29/7/enhanced/webdr04/enhanced-buzz-10675-1438169668-5.jpg?no-auto  
> His moves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEeXb_wwKoM
> 
> and here’s a guy doing a rings routine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSP19GYVTGM
> 
>  
> 
> Long story short: gymnastic moves can be hot as hell.


End file.
